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Judge for The Freddy

Hoboken, NJ
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Portrait of The Freddy

Freddy is what you vividly remember from your high-school prom, even though you went with someone else, and you went to different high schools

Freddy is 100% sober, but talks like Robin Williams in the middle of a cocaine binge. Freddy writes songs half the night, plays them for you the other half, then takes you out to breakfast

Freddy is the word you're thinking of but just can't say

Freddy has been enrolled at the University of Pennsylvania for two years, but has altogether been in the state of Pennsylvania for thirty-six hours, in which time he's been cited for sixteen noise violations and has baked cookies for the old lady who lives upstairs

Freddy is a momma's boy

Freddy doesn't stop joking until you've walked out

Freddy is impuslive, compulsive, and somewhat obsessive. Every song gets recorded in at least five different versions. And to make sure no one will kick him out until he's laid down the perfect version of a track, Freddy started Fredtone Records (Freddylicious since 2006), where he has complete creative control over what hits your headphones

Freddy is the mastermind behind the prank call that got you suspended, grounded, and dumped. But he's also the friend that got you high, laid, and into Princeton on a scholarship

Freddy is the sound that wakes your parents up on Sunday morning, before you've gone to bed

Freddy occasionally channels the voice of Diana Ross when he's writing songs, which has been known to make those around him uncomfortable

Freddy is the wet tissue that accidentally hits you in the face from the 24th Floor of a New York City skyscraper

Freddy dreams in kaleidoscopic stereo

Somewhere, it's 4pm and raining and Freddy is eating pancakes, recuperating from last night's 4some, and writing a song that the couple at the next table are unconsciously humming.